It is difficult to know sometimes what to write. I love sharing myself; I think in sharing ourselves we’re always encouraging growth of perspective in others and ourselves, otherwise our minds grow rather stagnant and unhealthy. It seems we often think that if our own opinions are quite decided then we are stronger than if we would allow the understanding of other’s perspectives and opinions. However, as with all things, it requires a balance. I’m a strong advocate for self-analyzing as well as the analyzing of my environment, people, and behaviors, perhaps to a fault at times. That’s where writing really helps me, sometimes my brain gets bloated with all the analyzing and I cease truly understanding myself or concepts. Sometimes you have to set it out on the table to give it a good looking at.

I lean towards journaling more now than in previous stages of life, I used to be quite eager to post all over the social networks. Since quitting touring I’ve wanted to quiet down, seek to live out relationships, and really be present in my life and to those around me rather than spilling my guts to the masses and constantly holding technology in front of my face. As I observe the behaviors of people my age it seems like one of the most popular pitfalls is that we feel a need to market our daily lives to one another in order to somehow muster from the affirmation of that admiration (or ‘liking’) a desire to continue. I follow quite a few blogs and I find it to be a neat opportunity, but as with most opportunities it poses for us another personal obstacle in life to overcome. I feel in myself the potential for that same insecurity I see in others, so I step forward with a timorous gait. I’ve been encouraged by several of my close friends to write more and I’ve been mulling over the pros and cons of being a ‘blogger’. My main beef with blogging is that women, especially, have a very real problem with envy and comparison. It seems with putting our lives on display, we tend to display our strengths for the purpose of growing our egos or, when a weakness slips in there, we only share those for the purpose of getting a sympathetic reply of ‘Don’t let the world get you down, girl, you are so pretty’. I think it’s bad to use indirect behavior to manipulate other people into compliments (I was an insecure, ugly pre-teen/teen, I know all about that), and, I think it’s dangerous to set up for yourself a flawless and cool image. It makes it difficult for people to feel that they could ever attain the ability to live on the same level as you, and sometimes you start believing it too, which is a detriment to the blogger and the reader. It’s difficult to be genuine when people already have a perception of you, unless you’re super into ‘shock and awe’. An image can be crippling, the expectations—from yourself and others—can be a real stumbling block. Also, envy isn’t conducive to growth; the only thing we should be encouraging with our strengths is inspiration for growth and learning, and we should always present them with humility because our strengths were given to us by God and grown by His cultivating in us a desire and ability to extend past our base understanding. And we have a cartful of weaknesses back in the shop needing work done. That being said, there are quite a few of my friends that bless me tremendously with their honest words and certain strangers who inspire me to expand my understanding and open a window to see even more beauty and creativity than I would have if they were silent. I’d like to participate in that in someone else’s life if I can and I know God uses us all to work in each other’s lives more than we could possibly expect or experience if we were to keep it all to ourselves. His plan is for us all to share, care, grow and hope together, not just meaning alongside one another (which, I think we would often prefer) but truly using each other for the growth. There’s a place in the Bible where Paul talks about one of the blessings of trials is that while we are suffering God is growing inside of us the strength for someone else who will suffer in the future. That can only happen if we are open and participating in each other’s lives. If God chooses to use my love for writing to touch someone else that would be incredible because I have been so effected and expanded by the writings of others.

I suppose that’s something to write about.