Love is a Weed
Today I’m remarkably thankful for proven love. It seems very likely that we often do not realize what power and strength lies within the love that we declare and live in every day.
This week was a very trying time for Adam and I. Possibly the most urgently pressing trial of our marriage yet. It taught me a lot: proving the strength that is held within the love I have for my husband and the strength that God gives us in our moments of weakness and bewilderment.
Adam had all of his wisdom teeth surgically removed last Friday, I don’t really need to go into the difficulties of it because its a pretty common trial for people. I will say that it was a pretty scary situation for Adam to walk into and it was pretty scary for me to walk us out of.
For those of you who know Adam, you know he’s a man who firmly relies upon his mind and reasoning and is almost always on top of his game to handle every thing that comes up. He is always respectful, always bringing me into his decision-making but I can always lay back and let him lead. He is one of the most capable people I’ve ever known.
Seeing him brain-dead, coming off his anesthesia after the surgery, trying to get him up the stairs and clean up all of his blood were very new things for me. I had never cared for someone post-surgery before and I felt incredibly ill-equipped. I called out to God many times to give me the wisdom to do the right things for Adam. I felt the responsibility of his health heavy on my shoulders and as the weekend progressed so did that weight. He did not react well to the medications the doctor put him on and as he continued to not be able to use his mind clearly, (hallucinating and the inability to figure out if he was ok, and the fear that comes with that) and started not being able to keep any food down, there were so many times I didn’t know what to do, I was making decisions for him when I didn’t feel I knew the right ones to make and, now that I think about it, it’s often the responsibility he carries as head of our household. It felt too heavy a weight to bear on my own, the wrong weight.
And yet, Adam needed me, and with God’s help, I was able to keep calm and carry on, as they say. I was overwhelmed with how great my love for him is, how much power it holds. I was impressed by the opportunity God gave me to prove to Adam just how much I love him, and also, prove it to myself. Sometimes it seems I might not know quite how strong it is, how much God has united us, how much of me is intertwined with Adam, how much I can help him.
Today, and likely much farther past today, I’m thankful for the chance God gave me to have this proven love for Adam. I’m so thankful for the godly man that I have had the blessing to know so deeply and live my life alongside.
I love you, Adam.