Calm. Change.

This morning I am nonchalantly sipping a cup of Tazo Calm tea made for me by my cheery husband. It has local honey in it, which, if I may gush, is making everything lovely and sweet. It seems like an ideal winterish morning, though it’s much too warm to be considered winter in these parts.

Our lives have changed so much in the past few months, mainly due to a gathering of dear friends around us. We are so blessed to have been invited into a community of coffee-loving, Christ-following, hard-working people with so much story, so much depth. I’ve never really had the opportunity to be a part of people’s every day lives, I’ve always spent just a couple of days here, a couple hours here, and then most of the time sitting in the van with my family. Good memories and lessons to be learned, for sure, but it’s amazing how much blessing comes with being a part of people’s lives. There is so much to learn from other perspectives, other pasts, other good strong minds; how that pieces together the puzzle of the life we’re trying to unscramble. I wonder how it will all come together in the end. I wonder how much of life I’ll have understood, grasped and conquered before the good Lord calls me home. I have been learning much lately, I get so impatient with myself (and everything), but I know that where I stand today is more learned and calm. Basically a less freaking out state.

People are always saying that change is a good thing, but what they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all has happened.

Meg Ryan’s character says that in ‘You’ve Got Mail’ and I’ve always thought that was a good expression of how I view change. It is never something I want to happen, even if it is something I want to happen, it’s terrifying. I would never do it by myself, which makes it such a beautiful and blessed thing that God takes care of all of that for me. He has given me a courageous and adventurous husband (who charges at life with all of his mind and body) to help me face the biggest change in my life yet to date. I’m so thankful for the patience bestowed on me, for the endless love, even though I’m like a stubborn mule inside sometimes.

There is always something so thought-provoking about seasons changing. Everyone is forever complaining about the time-change and how awful it is that it’s cold and dark, and though I somewhat agree, I would rather find something beautiful in it. Something to learn and strive for. What I’m currently thinking, is that the whole groove of winter is to be cozy. Firstly, make your home cozy; warm, glowing and cozy. (I can picture how to do it in a different, more forest-like home, not in this clean, ivory apartment, but I’m going to tackle this.) Secondly, find someone you think to be very interesting and intriguing, none of this ‘Oh, they seem nice’ crap, someone who is really somewhat puzzling for you, sit them down, many nights a week, with something warm to drink, perhaps start a book club with them, and then try to figure out who it is that resides inside that mind. Discuss religion, hypocrisy, the art of building a bench, how long to boil water before making herbal tea, the usual things you must know. Thirdly, though secretly it’s been all three of them; find the best of your traits, and suit the rest to match it. In a word, grow. Read books, create something you’ve always wanted to make, there are so many things everyone wants to do and so many of us are not doing them! We should. Why not in the dark and time-changed winter? That’s what I think.